faye on December 16th, 2007

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2 Responses to “december 16, 2006”

  1. It’s so hard to believe that just last Christmas season Dad was still with us. It was a joyous occasion for the family: Faye and Don’s wedding. Dad was proud to see 2 of his grandsons, my sons, Remo and Vito, that time. (In the photo he is with the third, Mogen).
    Sometimes, to my mind, Dad seems to be just vacationing somewhere, such that I wouldn’t be surprised to see him around. In my last Manila visit, while malling, I saw someone who from behind looked like Dad, wearing a shirt Dad would wear, and walking in Dad’s ambling gait. i had to remind myself that this wasn’t him.

  2. Vey,

    That’s what someone suggested to me, to dull the pain of Den’s leaving–to make believe he’s just somewhere abroad. Even if I could sometimes do that, I’m reminded all too painfully that such is not the case. If Den were, indeed, abroad, I’d have gotten tons of email by now, almost 6 months since. :)

    I guess, for me, it’s now just more realistic to accept his passing and to be aware that our own time in this earth is getting shorter by the second. I’d like that time to be more meaningful. If it could be meaningful in a big way, then that’s indeed something to be proud of, but meantime, I’m just content with the small, day-to-day tasks that wouldn’t be possible without me.

    Like you, at malls, I also see old men with baseball caps and baggy sweaters and pants, or men who’re just plainly, old. But in my mind’s eye, I just ’see’ Den nowadays as I first saw him at the Listening Center–boyishly young, yet full of worldly and philosophical wisdom and wit. And I remember his boundless generosity and kindness, not just to me, not just to his children, but to everyone who came into his life and orbit. This generosity was not so much in material terms (although his greatest joy was sharing good food with his family) as in his time, attention and help. That’s how I remember him, and that’s how I’d like you, his children, to remember him. If and when you do, then we can say that our life together was indeed worth it.